love-hate relationship with myself

every wise men said... "be yourself", "just be yourself"...

hahah! they all must be kidding me...
it's so hard being my self... I don't know if it's just specific me or something... but every body I know, nowadays seem to want me to be something I'm not... they're not happy with me, so they asked me to change... what the heck!

yeah! right... try to me be sometime...

I always try to accept my self... I know that I don't really love my self... but sometime I'm proud with my self... because it's just that no body seems to proud of me... but loving me... I don't know... I guess it's quite rare too... even me, sometimes wonder... why my husband loves me?

yeah... I'm at the lowest of love-hate relationship with my self... but hate... no, I don't hate my self... I have other people... ha!

yeah... I hate other people, and they hate me back... :d

maybe that's where the problem started... I hate my boss, and he or should I say, they?, they hate me too... he just needs me there... to tell me around to do things I don't particularly enjoy to do...

yeah... my job is not bad... people who I works with... don't tell me... yeah, don't tell me they're not that bad... actually, most of them are nice... really... they don't particularly love me... sometimes, they just might like me...

but... me?

I know... I should have loved my self dearly... I should have loved people around me dearly... I shouldn't wait for them to love me first, I should love them first...

maybe that's where all the problems start...

maybe I should try to love everybody... and eventually they will love me back... not all of them of course, one or more of them will love me dearly back...

yeah... I should try that...

I should try to do that... and see if I can eventually love my self too... T_T