아직 Feeling Lost

Just be careful of what you think of, you think of = you wish of...

I used to think of if I would get a struck on the head, would I be awake from this long confusing state of like? The answer is not likely.

At this moment, honestly I still don't know what to do and now... it's getting worst, I become don't really know what I want anymore.

I don't know what's make me happy and I don't know that I want to do with my life anymore.

It's just became bland...

So... just last week, I was sick, so sick so on 24th Oct at 7PM, we're rushing to the emergency room. I have severe infection from urinary tract up to the kidney. It's so hurt, I had a fever, which instead of high temperature, I shivered all over but not feeling cold. So odd!

I stayed at the hospital for 5 days. The worst part was we just bought an insurance hospital policy, which effective on 28 Sep 2022, so could only be used on 27 Oct 2022... Hahah! I got out on 29th Oct, so I don't know I'm not processing the claim to the policy. Missed a couple of days... 😝

Di RS gak ngapa2in juga sih... karena lemes banget, banyakan tidur aja. Bahkan nonton film/drama juga gak bisa... kadang2 maksain nonton drama/reality show Korea di TV, tapi malah berasa capek banget...

Bosen sama suster/dokternya bolak balik masuk... Hahah!

Gak enak makan karena awal2 sempet mual banget, trus gak selera makan, indra perasa lidah juga lagi ancur banget... Rasa asin double2, jadi masakannya gak enak... makanannya sebenernya lumayan, karena sarapan hari pertama dikasih nasi kuning pake telor pedes, trus protes karena emang gak boleh makan pedes. Jadi trus makanannya milih sendiri. Makan 3 kali sehari, porsinya banyak banget. Hampir selalu gak abis. Kadang dimakan suami, tapi trus sama susternya ditegor... Hahah! Padahal daripada mubazir gak sih...

Setelah baikan sih ngerasa gak gitu parah... tapi pas kemaren sakit... ya ampun sakit banget...

When we're sick, the one that so hard to handle is our wild thinking... the first thought was what if I die?

Sebenernya, seperti yang dulu kata Indah. Urusan meninggal itu adalah repotnya orangnya yang ditinggal... then I have so many things I left behind.

I guess, the thing I really need to do is to rearrange everything I have, right?

But before that... right now... the thing that bothered me so much that... I really don't know what to do with my life.

Enaknya ngapain yaa...