kangen blogging :)

it's been weeks that i dont find time to write about anything...
padahal banyak banget yang mo diceritain... yaaa... kadang sih cuma tentang ke-BT-an sehari2... tapi... kadang klo gak diceritain juga... rasanya ngegantung aja gitu dipikiran... :b

entah kenapa i've been constantly in dilema... hehe... padahal yaaa... i know that if we have concluded that one of the choosen things have more than 50% then that it! that's what's your choise is!

jadi gini... misalnya kamu bingung mo milih resign ato tetep... dan pilihan resignnya itu porsinya 51% dan tetep adalah 49%... jadi yaaa... resignlah pilihannya...
tapi apakah kamu memutuskan untuk resign atau tidak jadi resign itu beda lagi... apa yang kita lalukan sebenernya gak ada hubungannya sama pilihan itu sendiri... tapi tentang apakah kita "melakukan" apa yang kita pilih atau memilih untuk "tidak melakukan" apa yang kita pilih...

then there is me... already feeling uncomfortable with the job i have...
tapi... kita selalu mengikatkan diri kita terhadap sesuatu... i attached my self with my plan... jadi gak bisa dengan seenaknya aja memutuskan untuk resign kan? i've done that and i know the feeling... the feeling of unattached... the feeling of free choise :D

entah kenapa apa karena emang aku aja yang terlalu sensitif ato apa... tapi kadang i have clue to something i didn't realise before... and klo aku cukup berani untuk jujur... hahaha... jujur itu berat loh... even for me... who consider herself as a "jujur kacang ijo" girl... alias susah boong... even pada saat yang gak tepat... kaya' waktu wawancara kerja misalnya... :b
sometime i still lied to my self... karena gak mo kalah aja gitu...

i know i know... i realised now that i... regret of resign from Bintang... here you go, i've finally said it... tapi... even i realise that... aku kan bukan orang yang suka menyesal trus "menangisi" kekeliruan... life goes on right?

i'm here now... at the present moment... jadi... hehehe... deal with the problem i have now... not the one i have long a go...

mo tau "tips" i get from my self at the moment i dont even think about that at all... then i just feel realised? kaya' "tercerahkan" gitu ddeeehh... hehehe...

ceritanya waktu at some moment i've been asked of how the people i've worked with...
tau gak jawaban aku apa? spontaneously... i've answered...

"eeehhmm... susah juga ya klo membandingkan... soalnya waktu saya di Bintang, saya merasa kalau yaaa... sudah seperti keluarga aja... karena saya memang memulai semuanya disana..."

huhuhu... so melancholic, right?
i've been grow up there... and i missed it... :D
hehehe... mungkin ini jawaban kenapa it's so hard to let go.. and it's me who's going...

btw, tau gak... klo meninggalkan itu lebih berat daripada ditinggalkan?
yeaahh... i know that very well...
like it's us who is betraying and who were left are being betrayed... :(

haha... sedih ya jadinya...
tapi above all things i did have considered many things before i've came up with the decision, right? and i know that it was the right decision!

anyway...
about other things... all of the sudden... my baby said ok with my dream plan... hhhooorraayyy... :D
senangnya... emang masih blom pasti siihh... tapi he is like it better than the other way to do it... yang aku juga terus terang agak reluctant of doing it that way...

jaadddiii... seeennnaannggnyaaa...
keputusannya sih masih lama... perhaps after July... tapi paling gak yaaa... beberapa hal makin jelas...

hehe... blom mau ngomongin hal ini sekarang deeehh... nanti aja... :D

it just makes me wish to have the time fly by... walopun kadang ngerasa waktu berlalu terlalu cepat... ^.^